Motivations

Melody:

I’ve been in Kathmandu for almost a week now. I know your question will be, “How is Nepal?” so I’ll go ahead and answer.

It’s been a lot of things.

I could tell you about what I’ve learned from interviews at the hospital, the tourist sites I’ve visited, the food I’ve eaten, or the souvenirs I bargained for. I appreciate these experiences. But eventually the details will all blur together.

There’s something else that I will refuse to let myself forget. I saw a preterm baby in the neonatal intensive care unit that was severely ill and struggling to breathe. The doctor told me he probably wouldn’t survive the day. There were so many reasons—one critical piece of medical equipment was broken, there wasn’t enough manpower to perform another intervention, and the family was too poor to afford the last option available. It angers and upsets me that this life had a price on it that wasn’t/couldn’t be paid. A preventable death. So many failures along the way.

It was a horrible but powerful reminder of my motivations for working in global health. This is the story I won’t tell when I first see you again, but it’s one of the ones that will keep me going when I’m burned out by work, frustrated by global health politics, and am close to forgetting the real purpose behind the project. At those times (because I know they will happen), I’ll remember this and I’ll keep going.